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Mathew Oluwaseun
University of Ilorin (Unilorin)
Mechanical Engineering
500Level, Nigeria.

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For single people who desire to get into a relationship but haven’t found the one they desire, the struggle is usually real. There’ll be many questions and moments of self-doubts and some more questions.

Am I not good enough? Is something wrong with me? Am I doing something wrong? Am I attractive enough? What am I not doing right?


If you find yourself asking these questions, the things listed below may be the answers you seek.

1. Belief in soulmates

The idea that there is only person for you in the whole of this life is false. People propagate the belief that you are doomed if you somehow miss that one person either by getting into another relationship before they came along, or curving them when they come on to you. The truth, however, is that there isn’t such person.

Your soulmate is whoever you manage to find a loving relationship with. And there’s more than one person in this world capable of meeting your soul’s desire.

That there is only person in life who could be your soulmate is bollocks and if you are the type who is holding out based on such belief, it’s time to let go of it.


2. Butterflies

One other misconception about dating and relationships that could have been holding you back from dating is the expectation that when the right person comes, you will know by the way your body reacts to them.

The romance-novel-fuelled belief that butterflies will flutter in your stomach and colours will burst in your line of vision when the right person comes along needs to be scrapped too.

Yes, people do get giddy off the attraction they feel towards another person, but more often than not, that happens after a while, rather than from the get-go.

That butterflies don’t flip in your stomach at the sight of a man does not mean you can have nothing to do with him. It’s childish to think butterflies in the belly is conclusive evidence of a man’s suitability for you.


3. Perfect body

Men are not after the perfect body. Stop putting yourself down because of your straight hips and B-cup boobs. While sexiness in women will always attract men, it is often beyond looks and body proportions.

That’s why some women with perfect bodies are single while others with bodies that contradict society’s idea of perfection are in happy relationships.

Your perfect body is great, but for someone who is really interested in you, it won’t count for much whether you have it or not. So quit the undue fuss.

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Don not get stuck at the well of argument. Let God be your vindicator. Let Him fight your battles. He will vindicate you better than you can vindicate yourself.

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