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Osorhor Ogenevwegba Michael
Delta state polytechnic otefe oghara ( DESPO )
Graduate, Nigeria.
It is a fact that the male gender is seldom interested in getting married unlike their female counterparts.

While most ladies are frustrated with the snail pace with which their male partners approach the subject of marriage, the males just freak out under the pressure to settle down in marriage. Some even break up the relationship all together if they can’t get rid of the marital pressure.

Most men have a lot of fears when it comes to the subject of marriage, some even see marriage as a kind of prison which hinders them from living the normal lives they lived as bachelors.

In this piece, we would be looking deep into some of the reasons why most young men are scared of saying ‘I do’.

Fear Of Losing Their Freedom

Something in every man values freedom over commitment. On the contrary, women value commitment over freedom. A woman’s demand for relational companionship can sometimes feel like a threat to the man’s yearning for freedom. Some men feel getting married would make them miss out on the pleasures of having to meet and date different women of their choice at any given time.

To get a man to be interested in marriage, the woman must find a way to convince him that getting married will in some way culminate new levels of freedom that he wasn’t exposed to as a single man.

True, there must be responsible limits to all human freedoms, but a woman shouldn’t be too quick to enforce those limits on her man because if she does, she might just automatically lose the man.

Financial Pressures And Instability

There are men who desire to get married and have a family of their own but the economic situation of the country is a huge setback for them. Some of them have either lost their jobs or never even had any job in the first place. For the ones who are employed, a good number of them earn peanuts as salaries which can hardly sustain them, talk more of a wife and children.

For a man who falls under these categories, the thought of settling down would be the last thing on his mind. When he calculates how much he’ll need to spend on a wedding ceremony, the amount he’ll need to rent a befitting apartment for the family he plans to start, having to provide for and take care of the needs of his wife and children, paying bills, fees and other things that require money, trust me, he’ll get discouraged and would rather resort to being single, probably until things become better for him. Hence, you can never find marriage on the list of such a man, at least not yet.

Most Men Overestimate What It Takes To Get Married And Stay Married

It is rather unfortunate that the desire of most ladies these days is to have a society wedding, with an endless retinue of costumes and cosmetics, which has in turn contributed to men’s phobia for marriage. Every lady must decide what is most important to her, being a glamorous bride or being a glorious wife.

Believe me when I say, it doesn’t take the former to be the latter. Every lady who wants to have her man jump at the opportunity to be married, must deliberately simplify the process of getting married for him.

When a partner is caught in infidelity, conflict and divorce should not be the automatic reaction, according to Perel [Credit - iStock]
Anything too complex is most likely going to be a turn off for most men. I know most ladies would argue with me saying their wedding has got to be grand because it takes place only once in a lifetime. And I’ll ask, is that why you should be indebted for a lifetime? There is absolutely no correlation between the grandness of a wedding and the greatness of a marriage. Get your priorities right.

Most Men Are Afraid To Marry Women They Can’t Trust

Trust is a big deal for most men, particularly s#xual trust. Isn’t it an oxymoron that even the most promiscuous of men still yearn to settle down with a woman of virtue? The downside of premarital s#x is that, the more s#xually active a lady is with a man, the more she decimates her trust account with him. The lesser he trusts the lady, the farther she will be from the ideal image of a wife which he is secretly yearning for. This is why if you want him to be determined to marry you, you must project and embody fidelity, reliability, dependability and integrity. These would go a long way in getting him to trust you a hundred percent.

Most Men Are Afraid Of Boredom In Marriage

Almost all men live to love and play. The moment they aren’t convinced that marrying a person will be fun, they are likely to put it off indefinitely. This is why no matter how serious a lady is, to get the man to want to marry her, she must in some way project to her man that the marriage will usher them into a world of fun. The moment he has this assurance, he is most likely to cooperate.

Smart wives to-be must take away most of these barriers to marriage by alleviating most of the man’s subconscious fears. Only then will the man feel free and confident enough to tie the nuptial knot with the love of his life.

A major part of this is also convincing the man that you are comfortable with the level of his financial, material and professional accomplishments, and that you are willing to work and walk together with him, with what he has and where he is, on the way to his glorious future.

If men are able to overcome all these fears, then getting married would not be an issue anymore and marriage wouldn’t look as scary as some of them think it is.

Kindly share your comments, views or opinions on this in the space below.

source www.dailyadvent.com/lifestyle-fashion/2019/06/23/reasons-most-men-are-scared-of-marriage/
Reasons Most Men Are Scared Of Marriage - Relationships/Romance

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