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Olaniyi Mayowa Olanrewaju
, Nigeria.
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What did you hear about virginity? What did your mother tell you about being a virgin?

Let me guess, it is things like, “once the hymen breaks you are no longer a virgin”, “your first time will be painful and you will bleed”, “a woman’s virginity is a symbol of her chastity” and “you should lose it with someone you love”. Yadda yadda yadda.

First of all, I would like to tell you this (before I start debunking all the myths about virginity), all the things you heard about virginity, is probably a huge lie.

Forget everything you think you know about virginity and instead learn these 6 real truths about it.

1. Your Hymen Is Not A Symbol Of Your Virginity

Ladies, there is no symbol in a woman’s body that represents virginity. The Hymen is not a definitive marker of being a virgin.

The Hymen is merely an extra skin tissue that can break or stretch out from doing other activities that aren’t sex and many people aren’t born with one. Sometimes, if the hymen is absent, it doesn’t mean the woman has been sexually active.

2. Virginity Doesn’t Protect A Woman’s Value

Wrong! Nobody will give you special treatment for being a virgin. People love to say that a woman who is a virgin, has more value than a woman who isn’t.

Well, I hate to break it you but virginity doesn’t protect a woman from anything. Instead, it puts her at risk of being raped and molested by those people who believe that sex with a virgin is special and she is a trophy to be won.

3. Marriage Sex Is Not Always Healthy And Pleasurable

Haven’t I told you? Marriage is not always the key to pleasurable and healthy sex.

Not all marriages are the same. Some people remained virgins till they got pregnant and they were still victims of marital rape.

Most of them don’t even enjoy sex with their husbands.

4. It Musn’t Hurt Or Bleed Or Feel Bad The First Time

First-time sex isn’t the blood bath we make it out to be.

No, you must not bleed, feel pain or be uncomfortable when doing it for the first time. If you did feel this way, there are reasons for that.

If it hurts it is because of nerves and inadequate preparations. You probably didn’t use enough lubricants, didn’t prepare enough or he went in too quickly.

If you bled, it is because when a girl feels uncomfortable, her Vagina clenches up and becomes tight, hence the bleeding. Once you are comfortable and relaxed, you won’t bleed.

5. It Is Not A Life-Changing Or Defining Moment

Many girls center their whole life around having sex for the first time and once they do, they say corny things like ” I am a woman now”.

Darling, you didn’t need to do that to become a woman. Truth is, there is nothing that special about being with a man for the first time.

Don’t do it just because you need validation or assurance that you have taken the first step to womanhood.

And, you could wake up the next morning after doing it and feel normal.

6. It’s All Relative
Virginity is a relative concept and many people count various sexual acts as being enough to disvirgin someone.

Most people feel that it is only when you have a Penis in your Vagina that you are no longer a virgin.

Others count engaging oral, anal, fingering, masturbation and other non-penetration sexual acts as losing virginity.

So, if you ask guys to penetrate you from your anus, stick dildos in your vagina, finger yourself, receive oral sex, touch yourself down there or use a piece of fruit, then you are no longer a virgin. Sorry.

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