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Stats: 17,799 members, 72,094 Topics, 15,715 Comments. Date: Aug 17 2019, 2:32 pm

Adeniyi Dasola
University of Lagos
300Level, Nigeria.
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From stress to age, to performance anxiety, there are both physical and psychological factors that might be causing your partner’s erectile dysfunction, but often the psychological factors remain enormous.
There are deeper, more pressing mental issues that are not being addressed such as anxiety, shame, and vulnerability—all of which need to have room to be expressed judgement-free. Here's why your partner can't stay hard.

1. Do not blame yourself
The first thing we usually end up doing is blaming ourselves. We worry about everything from whether our partner finds us sexually attractive, to whether they are enjoying sex, to wondering if they’re having an affair. These thoughts are very dangerous and wind up making it both difficult to discuss important feelings we’re having and decreasing our own satisfaction with sexual play.

2. Strike out any medical factors first
While trouble staying hard can happen for a variety of reasons, you first want to rule out any medical factors. Your partner should seek advice from his doctor, and he may be referred to a urologist or other specialist. There are a series of simple tests to figure out if this is a physical issue or a mental one.

3. Encourage your partner
The healthiest thing you can do is encourage your partner and make sure he knows how sexy and hot you think he is. We’re not talking about catering to the male ego, but if your loving, supportive spouse is having erectile issues, it’s perfectly ok to support him up.

4. You can take sex off the table for a few weeks
There are a million ways to have orgasms and sexual pleasure without an erection, we just don’t give weight to those other sexual things. We tend to think penetrative sex is the only real kind of sex there is. Sexual intercourse is not the end-all-be-all of sex. Let’s make that clear. You can spend the next few weeks exploring other sexual play. Try some new oral sex tricks. Explore your partner’s other erogenous zones.

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