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Stats: 17,455 members, 69,251 Topics, 15,446 Comments. Date: Jun 17 2019, 7:35 am

Rufai Oladimeji
Lagos State University
English
100Level, Nigeria.
Question

Is it forbidden for muslims to
declare the engagement
(alkhotoba)? If yes, who are the
people supposed to know about the
engagement?
Are Close friends allowed to know
about it??.

Answer

Praise be to Allaah.
This hadeeth was narrated by al-
Daylami in Musnad al-Firdaws,
where it says: “Announce the
marriage and conceal the
engagement.” This is a da’eef
(weak) hadeeth which was classed
as such by al-Albaani (may Allaah
have mercy on him) in al-Silsilah al-
Da’eefah (2494), and in Da’eef al-
Jaami’ al-Sagheer, 922.
But the first part of it is saheeh
with the word “proclaim.”
Ahmad narrated from ‘Abd-Allaah
ibn al-Zubayr (may Allaah be
pleased with him) that the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) said: “Proclaim
marriages.” This hadeeth was
classed as hasan by al-Albaani in
Irwa’ al-Ghaleel, 1993.
Proclaiming marriages, in the sense
of announcing them and publicizing
them, is obligatory according to the
majority of scholars, indeed it is one
of the conditions of a marriage
being valid, because the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) said: “There is no
marriage except with a wali
(guardian) and two witnesses of
good character.” Narrated by al-
Bayhaqi from ‘Imraan and ‘Aa’ishah;
classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in
Saheeh al-Jaami’, 7557.

Some scholars regarded it as
mustahabb to conceal the
engagement for fear of hasad
(destructive envy) which could lead
to trouble between the man and the
family of his fiancée, as stated in
Haashiyat al-‘Adawi ‘ala Sharh
Mukhtasar Khaleel, 3/167.
This is supported by the words of
the Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him): “Seek help in
meeting your needs by keeping
quiet, for everyone who is blessed is
envied.” Narrated by al-Tabaraani;
classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in
Saheeh al-Jaami’, 943.

This does not apply only to
engagement, rather a person should
not show openly the blessings that
Allaah has bestowed upon him to
one who will envy him for that.
With regard to holding engagement
parties, this is something that many
people do, and there is nothing
wrong with that in sha Allaah. But
it should be noted that we must
adhere to the limits set by
sharee’ah in these parties, so there
should be no free mixing of men
and women, or use of musical
instruments apart from the daff,
because the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him)
allowed use of the daff in wedding
parties.
And Allaah knows best.

islamqa.info/en/answers/67884/the-hadeeth-conceal-the-engagement-and-proclaim-the-marriage

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