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Stats: 17,649 members, 70,908 Topics, 15,587 Comments. Date: Jul 20 2019, 8:23 am

Rufai Oladimeji
Lagos State University
100Level, Nigeria.

Assalamualaikum, Dear brother, my
questions are as fallows. 1.I have a proposal
from a man who is very good,pious and i
know him very well, he also talked to my dad
many times,but my dad is refusing coz he is
of different nationality,so is it ok if i dont
put efforts to convince my dad and just keep
quite without doing any and i leave every
thing on allah? is it like this, i have to put
tawakkal on allah and i will not do any
efforts to concience my dad?upto what
extend i can try to convience him? 2.i am
very coward and afraid to talk this matter to
my dad ,i dont have self confidence,i have
always negetive thinkings and i cannot make
the stable decisions plz advice me some du'a
to get rid of these problems. 3. I am 28
years old ,but my dad is not thinking of my
marriage still,how i can tell him?and i dont
have any proposal except this? and i want to
marry this man? plz answer my questions in
particular with out telling me to refer the
fatawa numbers so and so. Jazakumullah

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the
Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of
worship except Allah, and that Muhammad
is His slave and Messenger.

First of all, we ask Allah to make a way out
to your difficulty and bless you with a good

The characteristics that should be considered
when looking for a suitable man for marriage
are religion and good moral conduct.

Therefore, if this man is pious, your father
should not refuse to marry you off to him,
and it is suitable to try to convince your
father to accept to marry you off to him.
If you are embarrassed to talk to your father
about this matter, then you may seek the
help of your relatives who may influence him
–including the female relatives –like your
aunts and the like. You should continue in
trying to convince him until you are
predominantly sure that he will not change
his mind.
You should know that having complete trust
in Allah, does not mean that we should not
utilize all permissible means. Moreover, we
do not know any supplication for having self-
confidence. Hence, you may supplicate with
general supplications, like the supplication of
the Prophet " Allahumma rahmataka arjo
fala takilni ila nafsi tarfata 'ayn, wa aslih li
sha'ni kullahu, la ilaaha illa ant. " " O Allah, it
is Your Mercy that I hope for, so do not
leave me in charge of my affairs even for a
blink of an eye and rectify for me all of my
affairs. None has the right to be worshipped
except You. " [Abu Daawood]

Furthermore, you should know that it is
permissible for a woman to look for a pious
man to marry her provided that this is done
within the good moral Islamic conducts.

If your father prevents you from marrying a
suitable and competent man, then you may
take your matter to an Islamic court or to
any institution that studies the personal
matters of Muslims, like the Islamic centres,
if you live in a non-Muslim country, so that
they will look into your matter. Then, if it is
confirmed with the judge that your father is
preventing you from marrying without any
valid reason, the judge will marry you off or
appoint someone to marry you off to a
suitable and competent man.
Allah Knows best.


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