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Stats: 17,449 members, 69,230 Topics, 15,444 Comments. Date: Jun 16 2019, 5:32 am

Rufai Oladimeji
Lagos State University
100Level, Nigeria.

salam. my eldest sister died in earth quake in
2005. at that time her son was 5 years old.
at that time of grief my brother in law(B-I-L,
my dead sister's husband) stayed at our
home for a year time because of his son. our
nephew is very close to my younger sister,
so my B-I-L decided to keep him with us,
secondly his own house was all destroyed in
earth quake and his parents live in quite far
away city. at that time, me, my nephew and
my B-I-L use to go in same car, as v drop
nephew to school while me and my B-I-L
were working in same hospital. because my
B-I -L stayed at our home and drop me to
my hospital, my Fiance got very annoyed and
he used very abusive language for my
parents and B-I-L. that time i thought its just
coz of his fear that my parents might marry
me to my B-I-L, i beared all wat he said,
even though it was v v hurtful. for the last
three years i married, but my husband keeps
accusing my parents for leting my B-I-L stay
and to drop me to work. i was always fully
covered in front of my B-I-L, i wear scarf
wen i go out but ya i did talk to my B-I-L
like a sister talks to her brother, v talked
about my died sister and things like that. i
just wana ask, if me, my parents my B-I-L
were wrong in light of Islam, then r v
answerable to ALLAH or to my husband?
does my husband who was my fiance
(engegment not a islamic relation) at that
time he has any right to blame or scold us
and then to behave in a rude manner with
my parents? if my B-I-L became na mahram
after my sis death, then if i wld hv gone to
hospital in sm public transport then again,
all those wld also be na mahram for me? if
my B-I-L stayed with us in that time of
extreme pain for his child, wats so wrong in
it? so r v guilty for our actions, if yes, then
to whom? v need to ask for forgiveness to
ALLAH or my husband?for past two years my
B-I-L himself got married sm1, he just visits
my parents home once a month to meet his
son. PLEASE give me

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the
Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of
worship except Allah, and that Muhammad
is His slave and Messenger.

First of all, please accept our condolences on
the death of your sister and we ask Allah to
forgive her and bless her son.
As regards the husband of your sister coming
to your home, then this is permissible if this
does not lead to evil, like him entering the
house in an impermissible manner or staying
in seclusion with whom he is not permitted
to stay in seclusion with. Moreover, your
fiancé has no right to get angry because of
this or blame anyone of you about it, let
alone speaking to your parents in a harsh
manner or blaming them about it.
As regards you riding in a car alone with the
husband of your sister, then this is not
permissible because he is a non-Mahram to
you and being in seclusion with him in a car
is considered a forbidden seclusion, or in the
meaning of a forbidden seclusion.
However, if your parents agreed with you
about this while knowing that it is forbidden,
then they are to be blamed as well.
Therefore, all of you should repent to Allah.
It should be mentioned here that the
husband of the sister is not a Mahram even
if the sister was still alive and they were still
married, because being a Mahram to
someone is confirmed with the permanent
prohibition from marrying him/her and not
the temporary prohibition, like the
prohibition of having two sisters as wives at
the same time.

As regards the fiancé criticizing you for that
matter, then this is permissible because this
is included in enjoining good and forbidding
evil, and for this, it is not necessary that
there should be a legitimate relationship
between both of you. However, since what
happened already took place, then your
husband should not create some kind of
tension because of what had already
happened, but he should forget the past and
continue the marital life, as Islam guides us
to follow an important rule as Allah Says
(what means): { … either keep [her] in an
acceptable manner or release [her] with good
treatment .}[Quran 2:228]

Allah Knows best.


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