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Rufai Oladimeji
Lagos State University
100Level, Nigeria.

I'm a 16 year old, Muslim girl and I have
question. Can I have a relationship with a
guy before I get married?

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the
Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of
worship except Allah, and that Muhammad
is His Slave and Messenger.

It is forbidden for any Muslim woman to
establish any relationship with a
marriageable man even if he promises to
marry her. The promise and agreement for
marriage do not render permissible what
Allah has forbidden, like staying alone with
her, looking at her and the like, unless he
actually conducts the marriage contract with
There could be a promise and an agreement
for marriage but at the end, marriage does
not take place.
Indeed, a happy marriage is the one which
begins with the obedience of Allah and not
that which begins with disobeying Him.
Finally, you should know that it is lawful for
a man who proposes to marry a woman to
look at her once or twice in order to get to
know her and to ensure his desire to marry
her. Then, he is still a marriageable man to
her like all other marriageable men until he
conducts the marriage contract with her.

To conclude, it should be noted that it is
dangerous to be lenient in such matters, as it
is the woman who will be the great loser in
this regard.

Allah Knows best.


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