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Rufai Oladimeji
Lagos State University
100Level, Nigeria.
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It is recommended in Islam for men to
marry virgin women. "Marry virgins for they
have sweeter mouths, more productive
wombs and are more pleased with less”. But
for women it is recommended not to refuse
a man because of their age and marital
status (if he is already married) women even
have got no right object if her husbands
want to have more wives. Why man’s
enjoyment, satisfaction and pleasure has
been given more preference to the woman’s?

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the
Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of
worship except Allah, and that Muhammad
is His slave and Messenger.

First of all, you should know that being
content with the religious rulings and
surrendering oneself to them is the only way
to salvation, and listening to the
misconceptions which the devil and his
(human and jinn) helpers whisper to a person
are means for destruction. If the heart
accepts these misconceptions, it will be led
to destruction; so one should be very
careful. Allah Says (what means): { And
certainly, the devils do inspire their friends
(from mankind) to dispute with you, and if
you obey them (by making a dead animal
legal by eating it), then you would indeed be
polytheists because they -devils and their
friends- made lawful to you to eat that which
Allah has made unlawful to eat and you
obeyed them by considering it lawful to eat,
and by doing so you worshipped them, and
to worship others besides Allah is
polytheism). } [Quran 6:121].
Saying that in Islam, the right of the man in
enjoying his wife is put in priority over the
right of the wife in doing so is wrong in
principle, and it has no basis. Indeed, Islam
protected the right of the wife in marital
relations and other fields, and there are
many other well-known examples but this is
not the place to mention them. It is enough
to mention the saying of Allah (which
means): {And live with them in kindness. }
[Quran 4:19]. Allah also Says (what means):
{…And they (women) have rights (over their
husbands as regards living expenses, etc.)
similar (to those of their husbands) over
them (as regards obedience and respect, etc.)

to what is reasonable. }[Quran 2:228].
Indeed, Islam urges men to marry virgin
women, but this is in order to achieve
greater benefits than just temporarily,
enjoinment such as increasing the progeny,
the continuity of marital relationship
between the husband and wife and so forth.

On the other hand, a woman is not obliged
to accept to marry someone who is much
older or much younger than her, or someone
whose social status is different than hers,
and so on. However, when the scholars
say that it is desirable for the woman
not to refuse a man because of these
differences, this is in order to achieve
religious benefits. For instance, a woman is
generally the one who is asked for marriage
by a man whereas she is shy to ask someone
to marry her, and if she refuses those who
propose to her for marriage, it might be that
(after a while) no one else would ask her for
marriage, and so, she will remain without
being married, and live all her life without a
husband. In this case spinsterhood would
spread and this, undoubtedly, leads to many
temptations and corruption.

Allah Knows best.


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