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Stats: 17,465 members, 69,315 Topics, 15,454 Comments. Date: Jun 18 2019, 7:53 am

Rufai Oladimeji
Lagos State University
English
100Level, Nigeria.
Question

Aslamualykum warahmatulahi
wabarakatuhu. This may be an unsuall
question but its been bothering me for
a while. I am a girl who doesnt really
like to talk all day, I only talk if I have
something to say and people say I am
queit. I recently got married, and I am
worried about meeting my husbands
family because I have to speak to them
but I am really shy. Is that normal? Isnt
it compulsery to entertain guests and
speak to them?

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord
of the Worlds. I testify that there is
none worthy of worship except Allah,
and that Muhammad is His slave
and Messenger.

It is good for a Muslim to keep quiet
except if he/she was to speak good as
this is one of the signs of faith. Abu
Hurayrah, may Allah be pleased with
him, narrated that the Prophet
said: “ Whoever believes in Allah and the
Last Day, he should say what is good or
keep quiet. ” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
As regards comparing saying what is
good and keeping silent, As-Saffaareeni
said in his book “Ghithaa’ Al-
Albaab”: “What is predominant is that
speaking is better as it is for acquisition
(of what is good), and keeping quiet is
for abstaining (from what is evil),
because a speaker achieves more than
what a silent person achieves, this is
because the best that happens for a
person who keeps silent is being safe,
and this is achieved by the one who
says good in addition to getting the
reward of saying good. ”

Also, it was reported from Ibn Rajab
(Al-Hanbali) that some people
discussed in the presence of Al-Ahnaf
Ibn Qays which is better: speaking or
keeping quiet? Al-Ahnaf said: “ Speaking
is better because the excellence of
keeping quiet benefits only the person
who keeps quiet while good speech
benefits those who listen to it. ”

Moreover, it was reported that a man
said to ‘Umar Ibn ‘Abdul-‘Azeez: “A
person who keeps quiet while having
knowledge is like a person who speaks
while having knowledge.” Thereupon,
‘Umar Ibn ‘Abdul-‘Azeez said: “ I hope
that on the Day of Judgment the one
who speaks with knowledge will be
better than the other one [who keeps
quiet] because the first benefits the
people while the latter benefits himself
only. ”
Hence, speaking good is required and
praised, and among speaking good is
one’s speaking to keep sociable with his
guests and to have good relations with
his in-laws and the like. Therefore, a
Muslim should not restrict himself to
what is less than what makes him
sociable with people and removes the
lack of communication between him
and them even in an artificial manner.

As regards your question whether or
not this matter (your shyness) is
normal, then the answer is that it can
be normal and it might not be normal.
In case you fear that this matter may
not be normal, then you may consult
some trustworthy psychologists.
Allah Knows best.

www.islamweb.net/en/article/172719/speaking-good-is-better-than-keeping-silent

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