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Spending Time Only Working. by Taamas111 (f): 2:16am on January 11
Rufai Oladimeji
, Nigeria.
Question

My husband works 7 days a week
for many hours, and my twin babies
and I never get any time with him.
I’m wondering what Islam says
about spending time with your wife
and children instead of always
wanting more and more money?

Answer

Praise be to Allah.
Firstly:
The basic Islamic principle with
regard to the relationship between
the spouses is that it should be
based on each treating the other
with kindness, because Allah, may
He be exalted, says (interpretation
of the meaning):
“Live with them in accordance with
what is fair and kind”
[an-Nisa 4:19].
“So each spouse must treat the
other with kindness and good
companionship, refraining from
harm or annoyance, not withholding
rights when able to fulfil them and
not showing resentment when doing
so; rather he or she should do that
cheerfully and willingly, and not
follow it up with reminders of the
favour given or annoyance, because
this is part of the kind treatment
that is enjoined.
End quote from al-Mawsoo‘ah al-
Fiqhiyyah, 41/310

Secondly:
Part of fair and kind treatment is
for the husband to spend some of
his time, money and efforts on
what his wife and children need to
take care of them and look after
them and check on them. This does
not have a specific limit; rather it
varies according to differences
between people and their
circumstances. The general
guideline is that he should look
after them with regard to that
which Allah has enjoined upon him
of caring for them, looking after
them and maintaining them.
If the husband has obtained what is
sufficient for him and his
dependents of provisions and
maintenance, then what is required
of him is that his pursuit of further
wealth and provisions should only
come after he has fulfilled his
duties towards his wife and
children.
Al-Bukhari (1975) and Muslim (1159)
narrated that ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr ibn
al-‘As (may Allah be pleased with
him) said: The Messenger of Allah
(blessings and peace of Allah be
upon him) said to me: “Your body
has a right over you, your eyes
have a right over you, your wife has
a right over you and your guests
have a right over you.”
At-Tirmidhi (3895) narrated from
‘Aishah (may Allah be pleased with
her) that she said: The Messenger
of Allah (blessings and peace of
Allah be upon him) said: “The best
of you is the best of you to his
family, and I am the best of you to
my family.” Classed as saheeh by
al-Albani in Saheeh al-Jami‘, 5625
As-Sindi (may Allah have mercy on
him) said:
What is meant is that good
treatment of one’s family is among
the things that are required in
Islam; the one who attains this
characteristic is among the best in
this regard. And it may be that the
one who attains it is superior in
other righteous deeds too so that
he becomes the best in general
terms.
End quote from Hashiyat as-Sindi
‘ala Sunan Ibn Majah, 1/609
But our advice to you is to be
patient with your husband and to
take it easy with him and be a help
to him, not against him. Make him
aware of your and your children’s
need for him, and let him know that
that is more important and is better
in your opinion than extra wealth
and a life of luxury. And we ask
Allah to create lasting harmony
between you.
Ash-Shaykh Ibn Baz (may Allah have
mercy on him) was asked:
There are some young men – may
Allah guide them – who are
committed to Islam but they do not
treat their wives with kindness;
they spend all their time doing
many things that have to do with
study and work, whilst leaving their
wives on their own or with the
children in the house for long hours
on the grounds that they have work
and study. What do you say about
that; should study and work be at
the expense of the wife’s share of
the husband’s time?
He replied:
There is no doubt that it is
obligatory for husbands to treat
their wives with kindness, because
Allah, may He be glorified and
exalted, says (interpretation of the
meaning):
“Live with them in accordance with
what is fair and kind”
[an-Nisa 4:19]
“And they (women) have rights
(over their husbands as regards
living expenses, etc.) similar (to
those of their husbands) over them
(as regards obedience and respect,
etc.) to what is reasonable, but men
have a degree (of responsibility)
over them. And Allah is All-Mighty,
All-Wise”
[al-Baqarah 2:228].
So what is prescribed for young men
and others is to treat their wives
with kindness, show compassion
towards them and keep company
with them according to what they
are able to do; if it is possible for
them to do some of their studying
and work at home, then that is
better so that they may spend some
time in the company of their wives
and children.
Whatever the case, what is
prescribed is for the husband to
devote some of his time to his wife
so as to keep her company and
show her kindness, especially if she
is on her own in the house with no
one else but her children or no one
else at all. The Prophet (blessings
and peace of Allah be upon him)
said: “The most perfect of the
believers in faith are those who are
best in attitude, and the best of you
are those who are best to their
womenfolk.” And what is prescribed
for the wife is to help her husband
in his study and work and to be
patient in putting up with
unavoidable shortcomings that may
occur, so as to achieve cooperation
between them, acting in accordance
with the words of Allah
(interpretation of the meaning):
“”Help you one another in Al-Birr
and At-Taqwa (virtue, righteousness
and piety)
[al-Maidah 5:3]
and in accordance with the general
meaning of the words of the
Prophet (blessings and peace of
Allah be upon him) “Whoever meets
the needs of his brother, Allah will
meet his needs.” Saheeh – agreed
upon.
End quote from Fatawa Islamiyyah,
3/289
For more information please see the
answer to question no.
And Allah knows best.

islamqa.info/en/answers/177509/spending-time-only-working

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