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Rufai Oladimeji
Lagos State University
English
100Level, Nigeria.
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Question

I am desperately hoping that in sha
Allah you will be able to give me
some advice. I am a new Muslimah
and am still learning about the laws
of Islam and am in a situation
where I do not know whether what
my husband is telling me to do is
haram/makrooh/zina. He will be
remarrying his ex-wife as soon as
she gets divorced from her
estranged husband. This past week,
she came over to stay so that we
could meet. His plan is that we will
all live in one house. They have a
son together. We get along well,
Alhamdulillah! He had us all three
lying in bed together and both of us
cuddled up to him, while he insisted
that we were naked. There were
times when he made us expose our
nakedness to each other and he
would kiss and caress us in front of
each other in this state. He also
made us touch each other. He talks
about us all sharing one bed three
nights a week when we live
together.
My question is: Is any of this
haram/zina? I want to please my
husband, but I do not want to anger
Allah to do it.
I am also deeply concerned about
him at this stage, whilst they are
both not married to each other, but
married to other people and they
are doing everything but
penetration (he says then it is not
adultery).
Please answer my question. I have
searched everywhere for answers
on intimate relations with co-wives
in the same bed and can find
nothing. I know that intimacy
between two women (lesbianism) is
zina, but where does this stand?

Answer

Praise be to Allah.
If the ‘iddah (waiting period
following divorce) of a revocably-
divorced wife ends, she becomes a
“stranger” to the husband like any
other women who are not related to
him; it is not permissible for him to
touch her, look at her or be alone
with her, and if she gets married to
another man, the matter becomes
more serious and more abhorrent.
Based on that, so long as your
husband has not done a marriage
contract with this woman, what he
is doing of embracing her, touching
her or kissing her is one of the
gravest of evil actions. We do not
know how any Muslim can do such a
thing. If he has decided to marry
her, how can he not have any
patience to avoid what is haram,
until she becomes permissible to
him?! We ask Allah to keep us safe
and sound. If this woman is still
married to her (current) husband or
he has divorced her but she is still
in the ‘iddah (waiting period), then
it is even more serious and more
abhorrent, as stated above, and she
is betraying her husband.
Whatever the case, what your
husband is doing with this woman is
blatant immorality and it is a kind
of zina (adultery). Zina is of varying
degrees, some of which incur the
hadd punishment, namely
intercourse in the vagina, and some
are less serious than that, such as
looking, touching and so on. But all
of them are haram and one leads to
the other, darkness upon darkness.
We ask Allah to keep us safe and
sound by His grace. Al-Bukhari
(5744) and Muslim (4801) narrated
from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet
(blessings and peace of Allah be
upon him) said: “Allah has decreed
for the son of Adam his share of
zina which he will inevitably fall
into. The zina of the eyes is looking,
the zina of the tongue is speaking,
the nafs (self) wishes and longs,
and the private part confirms that
or denies it.”
And he (blessings and peace of Allah
be upon him) said: “Any woman who
takes off her clothes anywhere but
in her husband’s house, has torn
the screen that was between her
and Allah.”
Narrated by Ibn Majah, 3750;
classed as saheeh by al-Albani
If your husband is encouraging this
woman to get divorced from her
(current) husband so that she can
go back to him, then he has fallen
into another sin, which is ruining
her and spoiling her for her
husband. It was narrated that Abu
Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased
with him) said: The Messenger of
Allah (blessings and peace of Allah
be upon him) said: “He is not one of
us who turns a woman against her
husband or a slave against his
master.” Narrated by Abu Dawood,
2175; classed as saheeh by al-Albani
in Saheeh Abi Dawood.
Abu Dawood also narrated (5170)
that Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be
pleased with him) said: The
Messenger of Allah (blessings and
peace of Allah be upon him) said:
“Whoever turns a man’s wife or
slave against him is not one of us.”
Classed as saheeh by al-Albani in
Saheeh Abi Dawood.
hkyahS-ﺎﺳِ ‘Abd al-‘Azeem Abadi
(may Allah have mercy on him) said:
“Whoever turns… against” means
whoever deceives and corrupts.
“a woman against her husband” by
mentioning the husband’s bad
qualities in front of his wife, or the
good qualities of another man in
front of her.
End quote from ‘Awn al-Ma‘bood,
6/159
And he said: “Whoever turns a
man’s wife against him” means
ruining and corrupting her, or
making the idea of divorce seem
good to her, so that he could marry
her or someone else can marry her,
and so on.
‘Awn al-Ma‘bood, 14/52
Some scholars are of the view that
if a man turns a woman against her
husband, it is permanently haram
for him to marry her, and his
marriage to her is not valid.
Please see the answer to question
no.
To sum up, what your husband is
doing in front of you is a great evil,
and it is not permissible for you to
approve of it or keep quiet about it,
let alone take part in it. What you
have to do is exhort your husband
and advise him, and explain to him
that what he is doing is abhorrent
and haram. If he stops, then praise
be to Allah, but if he persists in this
action it is not permissible for you
to be present when this evil is being
committed. You can threaten to
expose him and disclose what he is
doing. Then if he persists in that, it
is permissible for you to ask for a
divorce, because of his evildoing and
sin.

Secondly:
Being together with two wives in
one bed is permissible subject to
three conditions:
(i) That it be with their
consent, because the wife has a
right to separate accommodation
and her jealousy may prevent her
from allowing another wife to share
her bed.
(ii) Neither of them should
uncover her ‘awrah in front of the
other. The ‘awrah of one woman in
front of another is the area
between the navel and the knee. It
is haram for a woman to look at the
‘awrah of another woman.
(iii) He should not have
intercourse with one of them in the
presence of the other. Please see
the answer to question no.

Thirdly:
If a woman touches another woman
with desire, that is haram; if there
is no desire, then there is nothing
wrong with it.

Fourthly:
One of the rights that the wife has
over her husband is that he should
give her her own accommodation,
and she has the right to refuse to
live with her co-wife.
We ask Allah to guide us and you
and to make us steadfast.
And Allah knows best.

islamqa.info/en/answers/177636/he-is-intimate-with-his-wife-and-his-ex-wife-in-the-same-bed

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