Welcome, Guest: Join Nigeria Student Forum / Login / Trending Now / Recent

Stats: 16,621 members, 63,869 Topics, 14,501 Comments. Date: March 21, 2019, 9:29 pm

Her Husband Has Forsaken Her And Does Not Talk To Her, But He Refuses To Give Her Talaq And She Is Unable To Get Divorced...

Nigeria Student Forum / Books/Literature/Writing / Muslim's Forum / Her Husband Has Forsaken Her And Does Not Talk To Her, But He Refuses To Give Her Talaq And She Is Unable To Get Divorced... (29) Views

(Go Down)
Rufai Oladimeji
Lagos State University
English
100Level, Nigeria.
Question

I am a revert women married 8
years back with a born Muslim.
After a few years of marriage
everything changed. I have no
children. He stopped talking to me
and even taking care. My health,
and especially mental health, is
suffering as I have no one besides
Allah to handle all this. I prayed
patiently for years that he would
good to me. But things got worse;
he hardly sees me for days and
days but we are living in the same
house. Our understanding about
Islam and how to live life differed
gradually. But I accept this and
continue on my way because I
learned the truth after a great
struggle and pain. Then he forced
me to go away from him but I
resisted as I have no where to go.
Slowly I understand after so many
years of anxiety, pain, loneliness
that it is not going to work. I realize
he has no pain, care and love for
me. Then when he insisted to leave
him, I then told him to divorce me
otherwise I will not go. He then
made my life terrible and I had a
total breakdown of health and
mental health. Then I left him in
order to save myself. And in that
health I lived alone for months and
then I decided to give one more
chance with him. So I went to him
to live for 6 months but he didn't
utter a single word to me and I was
alone there with nobody to talk to.
So I decided to come back to my
non-Muslim parents' house (they
didnt interfere in following my
religion). I don't know many
Muslims in the community but the
few that I know I tried to approach
them by phone so that my husband
would divorce me. But they hardly
understood and at last nothing
happened. I even tried to counsel
my husband to leave me with
dignity but it was of no use. So I
left it all to Allah and patiently bear
all this thinking maybe Allah has
something good in it. I am married
but with no husband. Is it a sin on
me to live like this? I am so deeply
hurt by all this that I lost trust in
any people. My health deteriorates,
it is difficult to live in such a
society and I have very bad
memories. I thank Allah that He
took me out of the previous hell
conditions. But now he is saying to
come back because of societal
pressure or Allah knows why. I
don't want to go back to him and
even don't want to live like this. I
am not in such power to take khul'
from him. Nor can I trust anyone
further. I ask you what should I do?
Is it a sin on me to live like this. My
english is not so good. I pray to
Allah that you understand what I
tried to convey to you.

Answer

Praise be to Allah.
Allah has commanded husbands to
treat their wives kindly, as He, may
He be exalted, says (interpretation
of the meaning): “And live with
them honourably” [an-Nisa 4:19].
Ibn Katheer (may Allah have mercy
on him) said: i.e., speak nicely to
them, treat them kindly and make
yourself look good for them, to the
best of your ability. As you would
like her to treat you, do the same
for her. Allah, may He be exalted,
says (interpretation of the
meaning): “And they (women) have
rights (over their husbands as
regards living expenses, etc.) similar
(to those of their husbands) over
them (as regards obedience and
respect, etc.) according to what is
reasonable” [al-Baqarah 2:228]. And
the Messenger of Allah (blessings
and peace of Allah be upon him)
said: “The best of you are the best
of you towards his wife, and I am
the best of you towards my wives.”
Part of the Prophet’s character was
that he treated people kindly and
was always cheerful; he used to
joke with his wives, spent
generously on them and treated his
wives kindly, to such an extent that
he raced with ‘Aishah, the Mother of
the Believers, out of kindness. He
would meet with his wives every
night in the house of the one with
whom the Messenger of Allah
(blessings and peace of Allah be
upon him) was staying, and he
would eat supper with them
sometimes, then each of them
would go back to her own home.
End quote from Tafseer Ibn
Katheer, 2/242

Allah, may He be exalted, says
(interpretation of the meaning):
“And they (women) have rights
(over their husbands as regards
living expenses, etc.) similar (to
those of their husbands) over them
(as regards obedience and respect,
etc.) according to what is
reasonable” [al-Baqarah 2:228], i.e.,
they have rights over men just as
men have rights over them, so let
each one of them fulfil the rights of
the other, according to what is
reasonable.
End quote from Tafseer Ibn
Katheer, 1/609
Undoubtedly, forsaking the wife and
not talking to her for no good
reason does not come under the
heading of kind and honourable
treatment; rather it causes her a
great deal of harm, as was stated by
the scholars.
It says in at-Taj wa’l-Ikleel li
Mukhtasar Khaleel (5/265): If the
man stops speaking to his wife, or
he turns his face away from her in
bed, that comes under the heading
of causing her harm. End quote.
In Mawahib al-Jaleel fi Sharh
Mukhtasar Khaleel (4/17) it says:
Part of causing harm is to stop
speaking to her, turning his face
away from her in bed, preferring
another wife over her, and striking
her in a manner that causes pain.
End quote.

Although we acknowledge all the
suffering that you have gone
through, it is our opinion and our
advice to you that you should give
your husband another chance,
especially after he calls you to go
back to his house. The complicated
situation you are in leads us to
advise you to be more patient and
think about the matter logically and
from all angles. If he mends his
ways and treats you better, then
this is what you want, and praise be
to Allah. But if he continues as he
is, shunning you and mistreating
you, then in that case you have the
right to ask him for divorce (talaq),
and you are not to blame.
If he insists on not giving you a
talaq, then in that case you have no
option but to refer to the Islamic
court, if there is one; if not, then
you should get divorced from him by
means of khul‘, and his reckoning
will be with his Lord. The Lord of the
worlds, may He be glorified and
exalted, says (interpretation of the
meaning):
“the Day when they will be brought
back to Him, then He will inform
them of what they did. And Allah is
All-Knower of everything”
[an-Noor 24:64].

During this suffering, there is
nothing more beneficial for you
than constantly remembering Allah,
may He be exalted, and reading His
Book, whilst being keen to do that
which Allah has enjoined upon you
of prayers and all acts of obedience.
Allah, may He be exalted, said
(interpretation of the meaning):
“O you who believe! Seek help in
patience and As-Salat (the prayer).
Truly! Allah is with As-Sabirin (the
patient ones)”
[al-Baqarah 2:153].
And Allah knows best.

islamqa.info/en/answers/202694/her-husband-has-forsaken-her-and-does-not-talk-to-her-but-he-refuses-to-give-her-talaq-and-she-is-unable-to-get-divorced-from-him-by-means-of-khul

0 Like

Work Hard... Work hard to fix not only your life in this world but also the more important life to come. No time!!!

Don't have an account? Use the form below to signup for a Nigeria Student Forum Account


Full Name:
Email:
Username: E.g Seuncoded
Password:
Confirm Password:
Country:


I agree to the terms of service

Viewing this topic:
1 guest viewing this topic
Download the Ngstudentforum app for Android Devices

Nigeria Student Forum - Copyright © 2016 - 2019. Fadeyi Oluwaseun All rights reserved. - See How To Advertise
Disclaimer: Every Nigeria Student Forum member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nigeria Student Forum.