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Every Time Her Young Maternal Uncle Sees Her, He Kisses Her And Hugs Her, Then Her Husband Told Her Not To Accept That

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Rufai Oladimeji
Lagos State University
English
100Level, Nigeria.
Question

My wife has an uncle who is young,
twenty-five years old. He usually
kisses her and hugs her every time
he meets her. I have asked her not
to kiss him or hug him, and not to
let him into my house in my
absence. What is the ruling on that?

Answer

Praise be to Allah.
There is nothing wrong with kissing
mahrams, such as if a man kisses
his mother or sister or daughter, or
kissing his paternal aunt or
maternal aunt, if there is no risk of
temptation and provided that this
kissing is by way of compassion and
affection, not by way of joking and
fooling about, let alone kissing with
desire.
There is also nothing wrong with a
man kissing the little daughter of
his brother or his sister. But in the
case of a young woman who is
married, that is not appropriate,
unless she is elderly and there is no
fear (of temptation) with regard to
kissing her. That is because the
Shaytan flows through the son of
Adam like blood, and there is the
fear that kissing may provoke
desire or the Shaytan may put
thoughts in his mind that are not
appropriate.
If the man is young and his sister’s
daughter is also young, then kissing
and hugging her is a reprehensible
action; it is likely to provoke desire
and lead to evil consequences.
Therefore, you have done well to tell
her not to do that, and she is
obliged to obey you and to not let
him into the house when you are
absent. Carelessness in such
matters is indicative of a lack of
protective jealousy. How much pain
and sorrow have resulted from that,
especially nowadays, when piety is
weak and prudence is rare. This is
not an accusation against the
mahram; rather it is helping him to
do good and is protecting him
against corruption and evil. Islam
came to ward off evils and to bring
that which is in people’s best
interests, and to bar the ways that
lead to temptation.
Among the things that should be
denounced is that which has
become widespread in some
societies of young people kissing
one another when they meet; some
of them have gone further and have
started to kiss their mahrams every
time they see them. Even worse
than all of that is kissing one’s
cousins (daughters of paternal
uncles and aunts, and daughters of
maternal uncles and aunts). This is
an effect of foreign customs that
have come to the Muslims.
Otherwise, it was not customary
among the Muslims to kiss in this
manner. Kissing one’s cousins is
clearly haram, because they are
non-mahrams and it is not
permissible to shake hands with
them, let alone kiss them.
At-Tirmidhi (2728) narrated that
Anas ibn Malik (may Allah be
pleased with him) said: A man said:
O Messenger of Allah, one of us
may meet his brother or friend; can
he bow to him? He said: “No.” He
said: Then may he hug him and kiss
him? He said: “No.” He said: Then
may he take his hand and shake
hands with him? He said: “Yes.”
Classed as hasan by al-Albani in
Saheeh Sunan at-Tirmidhi.

The Standing Committee for Issuing
Fatwas was asked: There is a
phenomenon of younger people
kissing one another on the cheek
every time they meet, every day.
This phenomenon has spread even
among imams, and in the mosque,
and in the classroom. Is that
contrary to the Sunnah, or is
anything wrong with it, or is it a
bid‘ah or sin, or is it permissible?
They replied:
What is prescribed when meeting is
to greet with salam and shake
hands. If they meet after returning
from a journey, then it is also
prescribed to embrace, because it is
proven that Anas (may Allah be
pleased with him) said: When the
Companions of the Prophet
(blessings and peace of Allah be
upon him) met one another they
would shake hands, and if they had
come from a journey they would
embrace. As for kissing on the
cheeks, we do not know of anything
in the Sunnah that indicates that.
End quote. Fatawa al-Lajnah ad-
Daimah (24/128)
Please see also the answer to
questions no and
May Allah help us all to do that
which He loves and is pleased with.
And Allah knows best.

islamqa.info/en/answers/118395/every-time-her-young-maternal-uncle-sees-her-he-kisses-her-and-hugs-her-then-her-husband-told-her-not-to-accept-that

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