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What Should She Do About Her Husband Who Talks To Women On His Mobile Phone And Asks For Their Pictures?

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Rufai Oladimeji
Lagos State University
English
100Level, Nigeria.
Question

I have been married for four years,
and four months ago I found out
that my husband talks to women
using social media and asks for
naked pictures. I was devastated by
this, and I began to pray for him
and weep bitterly, beseeching Allah,
may He be glorified and exalted. I
have not spoken to him about this
matter, because I saw all that on
his mobile phone. Even though I
never doubted him, and such a
thing never even crossed my mind
until his behaviour began to
change, he grew attached to his
mobile phone and would sit for
hours. Please note that my husband
is very good and compassionate, and
he does not fall short in his
treatment of me or my children. He
has many good qualities, but he has
this problem. My question is: what
should I do about my husband, and
how can I make him give up this
haram thing? I fear for myself and
my children, that Allah, may He be
glorified and exalted, may punish
us.

Answer

Praise be to Allah
Undoubtedly this thing that you
mention is a great calamity and is
one of the fitnahs or turmoils that
may befall a stable and peaceful
family. Therefore, you have to
handle this matter wisely and
sensibly, and you should not
collapse because of it or do
anything that will lead to
regrettable consequences.
This foolish behaviour may be
something temporary, that has
overtaken him because of
heedlessness on his part, in which
case all that is needed is a
reminder.

As you say that he is a man who is
kind and has a good attitude
towards you and your children, then
you should make the most of these
good characteristics to turn him
away from this problem and bring
him back to his senses.
My advice to you is as follows:
· Get closer to him and treat
him kindly, as if he had not done
anything.
· Beautify yourself for him at
home, and wear adornment and
perfume, because that which is
halal and good prevents that which
is haram and evil.
· Offer a lot of supplication and
beseech Allah to guide him and
avert evil from him.
· Do not let this matter come
between you and him, or reduce
your love and respect for him.
Rather make it a means of you
becoming closer to him and more
caring towards him. No doubt he is
dear to you and you love good for
him, and you hate evil for him.
Right now he is in the greatest need
of you loving him more and being
closer to him, so do not leave him to
the Shaytan to control him.
· Remind him of Allah and warn
him of the punishment and negative
consequences of sin, without letting
him realise that you know anything.
You can do that by quoting verses
of Quran and Prophetic hadiths. But
if you know that direct exhortation
from you may not be appropriate or
may not have any effect on him,
then you can seek help by using
moving clips that you can try to tell
him about, or put them on his
computer, or send them to him in a
text, and so on.
· You can also use Islamic
pamphlets that encourage one to
fear Allah and to keep away from
sin and causes of temptation,
especially the temptation of
women.
· Remind him about his sons
and daughters, and that
righteousness of sons and
daughters stems from
righteousness of the father and
mother. How many men have been
tested and had problems with their
children because of sins that they
committed, for Allah, may He be
glorified and exalted, will make a
man’s offspring righteous as a
result of the father’s righteousness
and good care of his children.
· Remind him of Allah, and of
how He will expose people before
the witnesses on the Day of
Resurrection, and He may expose
them in this world too, because of
their daring to commit sin in
private, not caring that Allah is
watching, transgressing the limits
of Allah and daring to do that which
He has forbidden.
· Tell him that among this
ummah there are some who will
come on the Day of Resurrection
with good deeds like mountains, but
Allah will make them like scattered
dust, because of their transgressing
the sacred limits of Allah in secret,
as was narrated by Ibn Majah (4245)
from Thawban, from the Prophet
(blessings and peace of Allah be
upon him) who said: “I certainly
know people of my ummah who will
come on the Day of Resurrection
with good deeds like the mountains
of Tihamah, but Allah will make
them like scattered dust.” Thawban
said: O Messenger of Allah, describe
them to us and tell us more, so that
we will not become of them
unknowingly. He said: “They are
your brothers and from your race,
worshipping at night as you do, but
they will be people who, when they
are alone, transgress the sacred
limits of Allah.”. Classed as saheeh
by al-Albani in Saheeh Ibn Majah.
· Tell him that it is shameful
for a person to feel shy before
people but not to feel shy before
Allah, meaning that when he is
alone he does acts of disobedience
towards Allah, not caring that Allah
can see him. Allah, may He be
exalted, says (interpretation of the
meaning): “They may hide (their
crimes) from men, but they cannot
hide (them) from Allah, for He is
with them (by His Knowledge),
when they plot by night in words
that He does not approve” [an-Nisa;
4:108].
· Whenever you find an
opportunity, advise and remind him,
without letting him realise that you
know anything. If he does not
respond to that and the advice has
no effect on him, then tell him
what you know and what you have
found out about, and remind him
again of Allah. Warn him of
punishment in this world and the
Hereafter, and tell him that the
gate of repentance is open to the
sinners, and that Allah, may He be
exalted, is abundant in forgiveness:
He stretches out His hand by night
to accept the repentance of those
who sinned during the day, and he
stretches out His hand by day to
accept the repentance of those who
sinned by night. Every son of Adam
sins, and the best of those who sin
are those who repent.
All of that should be in an
atmosphere of gentle openness and
compassionate rebuke, without
being harsh.
We hope that by the grace of Allah,
the Most Kind, the Most Merciful,
your husband will come back to the
path of obedience and guidance, and
will be diverted from the ways and
temptation of the Shaytan, and that
Allah will make him a good husband
for you and make you a good wife
for him.
For more information, please see
the answers to questions no.
and
And Allah knows best.

islamqa.info/en/answers/224585/what-should-she-do-about-her-husband-who-talks-to-women-on-his-mobile-phone-and-asks-for-their-pictures

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