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Rufai Oladimeji
Lagos State University
100Level, Nigeria.
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My husband died, and I feel close to
his friend, who wants to marry me,
but he always feels that he is
betraying his friendship with my
husband, and he always feels guilty.
Is his marrying me a betrayal of his
friendship with my (deceased)


Praise be to Allah.

It is permissible for your husband’s
friend to marry you after your
‘iddah ends, and this is not regarded
as a betrayal of his friendship.
Rather this is something that many
people do as a way of honouring the
friend who has died, especially if
they left children behind, so they
want to marry in order to take care
of the woman and help raise her

Moreover, marriage is prescribed
and there is no impediment to it. If
the husband intends to honour his
friend, help raise his children and
help his wife to maintain her
chastity after he is gone, he will be
rewarded for that.

It is no secret that what is
forbidden is for the woman to
establish a relationship with a man
who is not her mahram, whether he
is a friend of her husband or
otherwise. This is what is regarded
as a betrayal and infidelity.

If this man wants to marry you, and
he is religiously committed and of
good character, then he should go
to your wali (guardian), and you
should pray istikhaarah, asking
Allah, may He be exalted, to guide
you to the right decision. And you
should cut off your ties with him
from now, until he becomes your
We ask Allah to guide and help you.
And Allah knows best.


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