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Michael Osorhor
Delta state polytechnic otefe oghara ( DESPO )
BUSINESS ADMINISTRATION AND MANAGEMENT
Graduate, Nigeria.
Marriage is a serious subject. It is something most women crave in relationships; as women rarely go into relationships for the fun of it, they want real commitment and ‘forever after’. With such highly raised hopes, feelings of uneasiness and disappointment begin to set in when the man in the relationship fails to propose within the expected period.

What most women do not understand, however, is that men think differently when it comes to marriage. Marriage is different from an ordinary relationship. It is a long-term affair, or as some would put it, ‘an eternal prison’. So, in finding one’s ‘inmate’, a lot of factors are considered by the man. A man wants certain qualities from the woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with, and unless you fall into that frame, you stand no chance with him.

A lot of hearts have been broken, and potential marital unions have failed simply because the woman didn’t possess the qualities the man wanted. It is so painful to see a couple one deemed ‘perfect’ go their separate ways when it’s time for them to finally settle down as husband and wife. It is a common trend, and in a bid to remedy it, I carried out a little research amongst myself and few other men I know. Amazingly, it turned out we all want similar qualities from the women we’d like to marry. I narrowed the list, and came up with Five

1. ENJOY THE RELATIONSHIP
In many parts of the world, there’s a ‘marriage age’ for women. When a woman fails to marry in this expected period, pressure sets in, and she begins to lose touch with the fun side of life. At this time, if she’s getting into a relationship, she’s doing it with the sole purpose of getting married, but this is not right. It is not bad to want to get married, however, do not make it your primary reason for getting into a relationship. Hang out with your man, and have fun; pretend you’re not interested in marriage, and you’ll be wowed when he starts talking marriage.

2. BE YOURSELF
Like cheese to a mouse, men can smell a fake woman from a mile away. Most women are so desperate for marriage they go as far as faking qualities they do not possess. This is wrong; do this, and you’re on your own. Men hate fake, be you. If you have attitude problems, let it show, but be willing to genuinely work on it, after all, no one is perfect. If a man truly loves you, I’m sure he would seek a solution to helping you manage it. But trying to cover it all up and fronting only your good sides will send the wrong signal to him, and the resulting repercussion may be unpleasant. Don’t pretend to be what you are not. We, men dig deep if we’re serious about you. Show your real self, and Keep nothing hidden. You stand a greater chance with us this way.

3. BE UNDERSTANDING AND SUPPORT HIM
Understanding is one of the cores of any successful relationship. Unless you really understand your man, there is no way you guys can work. Know him inside out; know his weaknesses and strengths. When you know his weaknesses, you can understand the way he functions, and his thought patterns. Knowing his strengths gives you room to know where to support him from. You can also show your man support financially. For instance; if he’s broke (I said, BROKE, not a lazy and effortless jerk) and you’re doing just fine financially, don’t be stingy, help and support him until he can get back on his feet. Trust me, men adore and cherish women who are there for them during their down times.

4. BE HARDWORKING; MAKE AN EFFORT TO BE INDEPENDENT
Men hate it when a woman depends on them for everything. I mean, if you cannot afford to get such little things for yourself, how can you be any good to him? Marriage is a serious subject and men want to be in it with a hardworking woman; a woman who can show potential, and make an effort to be financially independent, the kind of woman who can support him and the kids. The man is the breadwinner of the home, but that doesn’t mean he should do everything. There are certain things the woman should also do to support the family with. This applies to any serious relationship, men get tired of women who ask them for everything; in fact, men do not value such women. As a woman, you have to be hardworking enough to be able to provide for yourself. Let the man be an added advantage, not your source of income.

5. DON’T PRESSURE HIM…EVER!
I know you have been in that relationship for 3, 4, 5 years now, and he’s still yet to propose, but please, do not remind him. Don’t go asking him, “honey, when are you gonna visit my parents?” or stuff like that, it’ll only come off as pressure, and men hate to be pressured…definitely not over marriage. He has been in the relationship with you for that long, and is still there. Stick with him, and go about your normal life. Sometimes, men do not propose when you expect them to. Life is hard, and we want to be adequately prepared before fully bringing you into our lives. You know, provide all the necessities to give you and the future kids a befitting life. So, just relax, stick around and support us; if we love you well enough to be with you for over a year, there is no reason why we won’t want to take it further. Just don’t remind us or show desperation…it isn’t sexy. Except the man isn’t serious about you then you have no other option than to quit the relationship.

Alright, if you possess those qualities I listed, there is no reason a man will not want to spend the rest of his life with you, and if you don’t, I hope you were able to grab a thing or two. I’d like to also add that marriage is a very sensitive subject; the way I view it may be different from the way the next guy views it. This article is just a summary of a survey by me on a few guys in my circle. If you’re in a serious relationship and your man hasn’t yet proposed, I’m sure he has a genuine and positive reason why he hasn’t. Stick around, have faith, and do not panic, he will surely come around.

And those were my two cents; I hope this piece was helpful. Thanks for reading. Bye.

Source frizzypedia.com.ng/five-5-ways-to-make-a-man-propose-to-you/

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