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From past experiences, and listening to too many friends getting into fights with their significant other; I’ve come up with a list of things NOT to do if you want to avoid the useless fights, and constant “breaks” that are shaping relationships today. Keep in mind although I have a biased opinion (being a woman and all), guys I got you.

1. Stay friends with someone who’s in love with you

If you’ve read our article on friendships with the opposite sex then you’ll know unless both parties are sexually repulsed by each other, or playing for the other team, THEY DO NOT WORK. There’s always one person who falls for the other, and then it gets into this complicated love triangle where the friendship line gets broken. Keep friends of the opposite sex as acquaintances, not cuddling buddies and a shoulder to cry one when you’re fighting with your boo. To them, it’s an opportunity, not a rescue.

2. Dress sexy when he’s not around

Intended for girls, mostly. Ladies, we know you’re hot. He knows you’re hot too, no need to flaunt it when he’s not around. It’ll just give other guys an impression of you that doesn’t necessarily reflect who you are. Plus, you should want to do that only when you’re with him, that’s what sexy lingerie and heels are for…

3. Flirt “innocently” with the opposite sex

Flirting is actually one of the main reasons couples fight. There’s a distinct difference between being friendly and polite, and flirting. Texting your coworker to go for a lunch date, or a late night dinner to vent about your better halves together – not appropriate. You’re playing with fire. Temptations are everywhere, don’t avoid them just don’t provoke it. It’s not respectful, even if it’s harmless or unintentional. You wouldn’t want someone else to think they could scoop up your other half if they wanted to- so don’t give them false hope.

4. Get jealous

Jealousy is the core of all-evil. It’s a horrible feeling and should be avoided at all times. When you act possessive with your other half, they feel it. They are not your property, and you shouldn’t want them to be. Jealousy usually comes from deep insecurities the person has that goes far beyond who they’re dating or what they’re jealous about. If he’s showing signs now, it’s a red flag for the future.

5. Expect things from your partner

We all know, as cliche as it sounds, “expect nothing and you will never get disappointed”. I believe it’s even more accurate in relationships. The only expectation you should have, is to love and be loved. If you’re in it to have a #MCM to post, or birthday presents, get out.

6. Hold grudges

It’s unhealthy and immature. They don’t make us feel better or make the problem go away, and should be avoided at all times. A healthy relationship doesn’t hold grudges. Swallow your pride, and make it work. That’s what it’s all about.

7. Try to control your partner

That’s what parents are for. No woman wants to be with a man who tries to control her every move. Or tell her how to dress. Guys, if you want your girlfriend to RUN very far into someone else’s arms, then you are pretty much on the way. Girls, if he wants a boys night, give it to him. If you can’t trust your significant other, or respect their choices (whatever that may be), it will never work.

8. Talk about your issues with friends before addressing him/her first

Communication is key. It’s okay to vent about a fight or issue with a friend to get advice, but make sure you’ve talked about it with your partner first. By spending time complaining about how “he doesn’t care about my feelings” or “she’s selfish” to your friends, you’re spending less time actually confronting the problem which can possibly change the situation for the better.

9. Bring back the past

It’s in the past for a reason. If you want to move forward, you need to look forward. Bringing up a fight you’ve had a year ago, or something the person did will only bring up negative feelings and hurt them. We know forgiving doesn’t necessarily meet forgetting, but it should be tucked in the back of your memory in a folder titled “resolved issues”. Plus, if you’re still with that person, you most probably got over it.

10. Take each other for granted

Your significant other loves you – but will not stand being disrespected because they do. Don’t take for granted what you have now, because you think they will stay. Don’t get me wrong, if they deserve the cold shoulder by all means, prove your point but at the end of the day, appreciate your partner and be grateful for all that they are and what they do for you.

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